My First Consecutive Child

I’m still tripping on this new baby o’ mine. Totally on a trip – high as the hills when I look, and I mean really look at her sweet face. Though, to be quite honest, it’s not nearly as often as I’d like to believe it is. I’m slowly getting stuck in the grind of the “second child” thing… It’s not so much that it’s hard to have two, but that I’m finding it difficult to remember she’s even here! I’m totally embarrassed to say that, but it’s the straight-up truth. Whilst Freida is in middle of learning how to be 3 and a half (i.e. whining and defying the daylight out of me), and taking up so much of my attention and energy (I feel like I’m constantly trying to avoid a meltdown – it’s like tiptoeing around mines!), it’s hard to remember there’s a sweet little babe who needs some face-time as well…

Of course, thankfully (since my SIL Esther is the greatest!!) I  have a whole morning with Freida in school, at which point I should be intensely bonding with my consecutive daughter – and I would be! – if it weren’t for her 9am nap. And so, life goes about, and while I know she is getting heaps of loving tender care and attention (I do nurse and cuddle her every 3 hours after all!), it’s the feeling of bonding with just her alone that I feel I’m missing out on. It’s just hard when you can feed a baby and put them down to play (peacefully!), and your 3 year old is trying desperately to captivate you with her genius discoveries of tea parties, toadstools, and elbow scabs… I feel forced to veer toward the genius, and leave the baby – to swat at toys solo.

But boy, do I miss her! As the day winds down; dinner has been served, baths administered, jammies are on, and story books are being bartered for, I find myself wishing I could keep Hudi up just a little bit longer after Freida is down. Just a little while longer, anyway. To smile at and sing with, and squeeze and tickle, and gaze at and gobble – without worrying a nary little bit about making Freida jealous or sparking a tantrum. Just for a little while…

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